Dear parent on the fence

Dear parent on the fence,

Yes, you!! The one with the coffee and the big coat, holding the wire with both hands like it might run off. I see you every Saturday at 9. I'd like you to come onto the court. Not to coach. To PLAY.

You're not unique. Every sport has them, parents who are passionate and shouting from the sideline. But here's the thing. With football, your days of winning the golden boot may be behind you. But tennis? Tennis, come on, pick up a racket. I know you mean well. You love your kid. You've watched a lot of tennis on telly. And from behind the fence it all looks SO simple. Bend your knees. Watch the ball. Racket back early. Move your feet!! FEET!!

Here's the thing though. I'm also saying "watch the ball". At the same time. From a different direction. And your daughter is ten and has one brain and two of us shouting at it, and the ball has gone past her while she worked out which of us to look at. Then she looks at you. Then she looks at me. Then she looks at her shoes. And that's the forehand gone for the morning.

So here's my idea, and I've been dying to tell you!!

From next term there's a parents' session on the courts next door, same time as the juniors. Tennis on two courts, pickleball on the other one, because pickleball is the friendliest thing ever invented for grown-ups who haven't held a racket since school. You'll be within shouting distance of your kid and you won't be able to shout at them because you'll be BUSY. Out of breath. Missing easy volleys and laughing about it.

And then something lovely happens. I've seen it at another club and it nearly made me cry by the drinks machine. The kids come off at 10, they wander over to the fence, and THEY watch YOU. And they shout "bend your knees, Dad!!" And Dad bends his knees, and finds out it's actually quite hard, and the next Saturday he holds his coffee a bit more quietly.

You don't have to be any good. Nobody on the parents' court is any good. That's the WHOLE POINT. I'll lend you a racket, I've got a basket of them. Wear trainers. Bring the coffee if you must, there's a bench.

I'm not cross. I promise I'm not cross. I just think you'd have a much better Saturday on this side of the wire, and so would your kid, and so would I.

Come on to the court!!

Love, Mel

Run this at your club: Read how coaches can turn their pupils into a community of players, starting with a social.