The court roller is missing. Minutes of a very short search.

The court roller is missing.

I want to be clear that this is not a crisis. It is a roller. It is green, it weighs about as much as a small car, and it has been in the shed behind court four since before I was treasurer.

On Saturday it was not in the shed.

Facts so far.

The shed was locked. The padlock was the padlock. Only four people have a key, and one of them is me, and I haven't got the strength.

Last seen: Tuesday week, by Graham, who says he "moved it a bit". How far a bit is, he can't say. Roughly the length of court four, he thinks. We have looked along court four.

Dennis, who does the grass verges, says he saw it near the car park. Dennis also said he saw a fox playing a cello on Thursday, so I have recorded this as "unconfirmed".

Our insurer would like to know the value. I looked it up. A second hand one is £340 and the new one is £1,180. We are not buying a new one. I have said this twice at the bar and a third time in writing.

Items for the committee:

• a) Who has the roller.
• b) Why nobody wrote it down.
• c) Why we have a clipboard for the ball machine and not for the roller.
• d) Whether we need a roller.

That last one was Priya's and I have put it at the bottom, but it has been the only point anyone wants to talk about. Her argument is that the courts have been fine for three weeks. They have. I have been out there with a spirit level and a flask and they are the flattest they've been since I took the job. Which I find annoying.

Terry rang me on Sunday. He wanted it on record that he told us in 2019 to put a name on it. I looked. He did. It was in the minutes of the March meeting, under Any Other Business, between the bin rota and a complaint about the biscuits.

We have formed a working group. It is me, Graham and the roller shaped hole in the shed. First meeting is Thursday at 7. Graham is bringing a torch.

I will update you if there is news.

There will not be news.

P.S. If you moved the roller, put it back. I won't ask. I will quietly tell everyone who it was.