They've painted pickleball lines on court six

I turned up for Monday juniors and there were new lines on court six.

Blue ones. Inside my tennis lines. Like someone had drawn a smaller, worse tennis court inside the real tennis court and hoped nobody would notice.

I noticed.

Nobody told me. That's the first thing. Twenty-two years I've coached on that court. I know where the dip is by the far tramline. I know which bit of the fence the balls go through. And on Monday at 4.15 there's a whole extra set of lines and a man from the committee saying "it's only paint, Terry".

It is not only paint. Try telling eight-year-olds which line is the baseline when there are four candidates. Freddie served into the kitchen. I didn't even know there WAS a kitchen. Apparently it's the bit near the net where you're not allowed to volley. In pickleball. Not in tennis. In tennis you're very much allowed to volley near the net, it's the whole point, I've spent two decades trying to get people up there.

I asked Mel about it, because Mel runs the pickleball on a Saturday and Mel thinks this is brilliant. Mel said "Terry, it's 40 people every Saturday who weren't playing anything a year ago". Which, fine. I'm not saying it's not popular. I'm saying it's on court six.

And the noise. Pock. Pock. Pock. It's like coaching next to a woodpecker.

And the ball. Plastic, with holes in, like a toy you'd get in a cracker. One of them rolled into my junior basket on Saturday and Freddie hit it at Amelia and it went about two feet. He was delighted. Amelia was delighted. I put it in the bin. Mel took it out of the bin.

The committee's line is "shared use". Malcolm said it to me at the bar with the face he does when he's already decided. Shared use means tennis Monday to Friday and pickleball on Saturday mornings, and the lines stay down all week because you can't paint them every Saturday. So I get the lines all week. Shared lines. Not shared use. Shared LINES.

I've started coaching on court five instead. Court five has the dip in a different place and the floodlight that flickers. I'd rather have the flicker.

Anyway. The juniors keep asking if they can "have a go at the pickle one". I've said no. I've said no four times. Freddie's mum asked on the WhatsApp if Mel does lessons. Mel does lessons.

They're still my lines on court six. The proper ones. The white ones.

P.S. I had a go on Thursday after everyone left. Just to see. It's harder than it looks. I'm not discussing it further.